


Ashes

by Canadiantardis



Series: Whumptober 2020 [19]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Car Accidents, Crying, Grief/Mourning, It's a referenced car accident, Logic | Logan Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders Are Siblings, M/M, Morality | Patton Sanders is Anxiety | Virgil Sanders' Parent, No Dialogue, One Shot, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:55:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26955460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Canadiantardis/pseuds/Canadiantardis
Summary: Of all the possibilities in the universe, Patton was certain Janus had never thought of this.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: Whumptober 2020 [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1920886
Comments: 11
Kudos: 25





	Ashes

**Author's Note:**

> Day 19: It's a cross between the prompts Grief and Mourning Loved Ones  
> This is very short, but also just filled with angst enjoy.

Of all the possibilities in the universe, Patton was certain Janus had never thought of this. He saw things like a long life, the two of them adopting a quiet, hurt child and helping them come out of their shell and watching them grow into a wonderful adult, and all those cliche happy ending stories the two longed for.

He never would have seen the possibility of Patton all alone much too early. He never would have thought of the possibility of him getting T-boned so hard on the way home from work he would be considered dead on impact. He never would have thought Patton would watch the urn containing all that remained of his husband be lowered into the earth, holding young Virgil’s hand and both barely able to keep the crying silent.

Virgil sniffled and wiped his face with his sleeve. He had gone through this song and dance already, with his birth parents having died just three years earlier due to a similar car accident. The pre-teen was hunched in on himself, holding the flower in his free hand so hard he was crushing the stem. He held Patton’s hand almost painfully tight, as if he were afraid Patton would leave him behind as well, like every other adult in his life.

Patton held his hand just as tightly, silently saying he would never.

There were words spoken, before Patton realized it was to tell him and Virgil to step towards the hole where the urn now rested, and to rest the flowers along it, as well as the first handful of dirt to be dropped in. He saw how Virgil moved mechanically, his free hand almost refusing to let go of the flower and it took a great deal of his willpower to have his hand release it, watching as if in slow motion as it fell into the earth.

They dropped the flowers, small yellow snapdragons that were barely in bloom, before they dropped the dirt, and stayed as the urn and flowers were covered completely.

Nothing really felt real in the past week since Patton had gotten the call from the ambulance, who had searched for Janus’ things and gotten his contact number. Patton couldn’t really… _feel,_ since then, either. He woke up every morning after cold, clutching the sheets of a bed suddenly too big for him. He dreamt that Janus was still alive, holding him one last time, and he’d wake up sobbing when he’d only feel those cold and empty sheets. He was able to push _most_ of the grief away for the days, able to keep a mostly clear head as he had to get the next couple weeks off for himself and the week and a half for Virgil. He had to take care of the funeral arrangements, processing the will Janus had actually written only a year ago - Patton had never known Janus had written a will until then and broke down once he saw it - as well as have someone help him contact Janus’ family and close friends, of which he had few of each he cared about, to tell them what happened and when and where the funeral would take place.

Now, everything suddenly felt _too_ real. The sight of the urn had solidified the truth. Janus was not returning to him. And damn if that didn’t crush Patton’s heart into sand.

Arms wrapped around his middle, causing Patton to start, and he looked down to see Virgil hug him tightly, pressing his face into his side, his shoulders shaking as soft sobs broke out of him. Patton wrapped his arms around his son and held him close, and finally allowed himself some time to let his grief out, quiet, hiccuping sobs choking him up. They wouldn’t move from the spot for some time, and in the distance, his brother Logan, and Logan’s sons, watched solemnly.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of the [ LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:  
> Feedback
> 
>   * Short comments
>   * Long comments
>   * Questions
>   * “<3” as extra kudos
>   * Reader-reader interaction
> 

> 
> This author replies to comments.


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